lana del rey, last night at bill graham auditorium in san francisco. flawless! #lana #ldr #sanfrancisco
tonight i get to see quite a few things that i hold dearly in my heart. and it all starts with this baby doll and a beautiful city called san francisco. cc: @lanadelrey @colormejessikur @92frank_ @erneeeesto #lanadelrey #tonight #westcoast #concert #sanfrancisco #showbucketlist
truthsfromwithin asked: sadly i was all dressed up. freakin boys man they always want it except when its being offered it seems
awwww what the hell. next time he wants it, WILL POWER WOMAN.
politicallyinactive asked: I know that we don't know each other, but I am so proud of you! Good luck with anything and know that you have my full support!
we don’t and that’s ok - i love random messages of positivity and love. so thank you so much!!! BTW, i love everything you post.
well, i feel naked.
the photo on the left is me [obviously] not wearing a stitch of make-up, and the right is the exact opposite - all taken in the same week.
today i read an article from the woman behind the man repeller, on why she doesn’t wear make-up. the part in the article where she talks about the e-mail, where she tells us that her colleague said, “She is ugly as fuck tho. Truly a man repeller.” referring to the her… i couldn’t help but think how badly that would hurt my feelings, and i immediately admired this woman for NOT falling apart at the sight of those words.
It’s all messy:
You don’t have to save me. Just hold my hand while I save myself.
Photo Credit: Robin Harper
and the mistakes i have made in the past still seem to creep up on me from time to time.
broken nails and broken thoughts
i’ve been going to town on my cleaning game all day. even after talking to the guys about the party damages the house still looks like it’s going to eat up our entire deposit. their version of clean has and always will be completely different than mine and probably everyone else. i have been on strike all week, waiting for them to do more than the initial sweep, but nothing. i want to go to the landlord but i am scared they will totally throw my own signature in my face and the “legally this and legally that” along with it. i came home today with ian after 2 nights in mariposa and couldn’t handle the filth anymore (nothing is worse than coming home to a dirty house) and cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. and even did the garage and did a trip to goodwill to drop off stuff. productive? hell yes. but now that about 3 of my nails are broken, i smell like dirty sponge, and am still feeling that black widow crawling on me i think it’s time to start applying for a new place to rent. i can’t keep spending my time busting my ass for other people. i’m nervous for the price increase but i can’t keep accepting life with roommates when all i’ve ever wanted was my own place with my own shit on the walls, only my messes to clean, and all that other stuff.
speaking of moving, the thought of living alone is really scary. i like my solidarity but i hate being afraid of the “bad man” or whatever. and ian knows this, but i told him we can’t live together yet. silly as it is, because we spend every day/night together, i just can’t make it an official thing. it scares me a lot because we haven’t known each other long enough, and we’ve come close to breaking up within the last couple of weeks.. now that things are good again, i can only worry that it may happen again, and what if it happens when we’re on a lease together? no beuno. so i told him this, and he’s got plenty of strong statements to counteract mine as usual, but i just can’t say yes but i can’t say no either. i don’t want to live with someone out of convenience, but maybe i am just worried what people will think… there’s just so much complicated stuff that goes in to this. either way, it’s a serious decision to make and i don’t want to say yes until it makes me excited, not nervous.. hopefully he understands this.
well it’s time to cook dinner. i do like that i actually make food now. i bought a bunch of goodies for a salad tonight, but i want to grill up some chicken for it so hopefully it turns out to be good :)