i am SO tired of dating men without jobs, money, or a car. but they have an abundant supply of the infamous, “oh. but i forgot my wallet, can you get this one baby?”.
it would be fun to do an over-the-top-glitterfuck of a paper suite like this. tassels? fuck yes there’s tassels on that shit.
photography: mirelle carmichael + cheryl tiivar
pretty little white dress
Anonymous asked: It's not really much of a secret, but I suppose it may be to you.. You will always be my bestfriend. I will always be your biggest fan. I am so proud of the woman you have become. From the quiet wallflower who kept her hair up with pencils to the amazing designer you are today. It's really a trip to think about how much has changed. Anyways..I also want you to know even though we don't talk, I still love you and I will always care about you. If I had your number this would be an even longer text
i love you and miss you
i need to stop trying to understand why he did it. people tell me it will take me half the time i was with him, to get over him. but fuck, the intensity of my love has never paralleled with the time i spent with him. it’s always been much, much more. a mistake? yes. i should have slowed down, should have taken my time. maybe this would have never happened to us and i wouldn’t be spending every day wondering why. should there really be an expiration date on love?
And he left. I watched him walk out – he didn’t say good-bye, he didn’t even look back. It scared me, how easy it was for him to do that.
i feel so
i am so wrapped up in my own head lately, and i can’t even answer my phone or pay attention to anything but my own thoughts. one of my closest friends is moving away, across the country. and her house goes on the market tomorrow. she just called to talk about the stresses of her moving, and i couldn’t pick up because that is just one more thing i don’t want to think about.. her moving almost 2,000 miles away. even though she needs me, i am being totally 100% selfish because i am already hurting from this awful break-up and don’t want to think about losing her. i feel like i am supposed to be doing better by now but sometimes i feel worse. i don’t think the amount of work on my plate right now is helping either. i can’t focus on anything, all i want to do is sit on my couch and stare out the window with a bottle of tequila in my hand. i feel so fucking confused and hurt all the time, and right now i want to avoid everyone. i miss ian so much, and i hate that the love i feel for him is so shattered, but still there at the same time… yet he is not. i still run in to people who ask about us and i have to tell them we are no longer together, and i hate it. i hate their sad eyes and my forced “i’ll be ok” smile. i hate all of this, it wasn’t supposed to be this way.. he was supposed to be here and i miss having him around. i miss the sound of his footsteps through the house and the smell of his skin. i miss when he’d hug me from behind or slow dance with me, and make me feel something other than this fucked up, never-ending pain. even though he broke us, my trust, i still miss him… i hate it. i feel so fucked up, and i don’t know how to put myself back together.
totally loving this. currently sitting at this cafe on ellis, pretty tipsy because the bartender is giving away free drinks.. i better get outta here soon before i hafta have my ass carried to the BART station!