This is how you lose her.

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets.

You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget.

You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her.

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.

Junot Diaz, This is How You Lose Her (via golden-notes)

(via selfish-desires)

today zach and i explored san francisco together.. it’s been so great spending time with my brother, i wish it weren’t over. tomorrow night, he will leave to LA to meet his mom and then back to phoenix. i feel a little gloomy, knowing that this trip is about to end. that this high is finally going to go down. it’s been amazing, spending time with my brothers and finally being with the “waters clan” again. my aunt katie and uncle matt have been so great to us, i can’t help but be surprised they were never in touch with us as kids. but i decided not to take it personally, they just don’t seem like they do a lot of ‘connecting’ with anyone. my aunt doesn’t even know what a facebook is.. so silly when her hubby is the CEO of an app company. which also reminds me, their house is incredible!! they even own the gigantic house next door too… crazy. with tennis courts, pools, a jucuzzi, fountains, surround sound even outside, a guest house, and a brand new trampoline… i wonder if they know how lucky they are to have so much. i hope they do, and would like to think we will begin to keep in touch better after this because at the end of the day - it’s the convos with family that i will hold forever. katie even talked to me about my dad, which meant so much. not a lot of people know him like we all do, so it’s hard to talk to anyone that actually gets his illness. maybe one day dad can come up here with zach, seth can come down, and we can all be together. who knows. maybe i will continue to hope for things like that, just so this low doesn’t take me down too far.

#family  
  08/21/14 at 12:44am

From 18 to 22 you meet a lot of temporary people.

(via rmhb)

laughing

(via eternallyclassic)

  08/19/14 at 02:08am
via elfauno

(via psithurisms)

  08/19/14 at 02:07am

(via kushandwizdom)

http://projectrun-away.tumblr.com/post/91979368116/i-will-not-be-my-fathers-daughter-mom-says-i-will ›

projectrun-away:

i will not be my father’s daughter
mom says i will struggle with trust issues/dad issues for eternity, and i should try my best to figure out a “cure” or the arguments and relationship troubles that result will continue to come. well. i don’t think there’s such a thing as a cure, i think it’s…

i can’t believe i was so foolish

#cheater  
  08/18/14 at 12:08am

at a certain point tonight, walking around with my two brothers, i came down from the high of being around the both of them again. i tried to talk myself out of it in my head, tell myself i was just tired. but i know exactly where my mind was going. to you. to what you did to me, and the trust i lost in you and every man that i will ever meet. i went to bed early, i needed to cry. i feel alone and i miss our talks. i miss your voice. i miss your arms and how it felt to be embraced by you. i hate myself for missing us, because you broke us, because you don’t deserve all the love i gave you, i hate myself for trading everything i was for love.

  08/18/14 at 12:05am

alright my sweet little house. we’re in this together. we don’t need no man, right?

  08/13/14 at 11:45pm

There’s no relief,
I see you in my sleep
And everybody’s rushing me,
But I can feel you touching me
There’s no release,
I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I’m fine

Every time I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I’m scared that you
Won’t be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But there’s no you,
Except in my dreams tonight

  08/12/14 at 05:57pm

if someone told me that this was the last time i would ever dance with you, i would have danced and laughed for hours

#break up  
  08/08/14 at 04:57pm

bride and groom treated me so sweetly tonight, everyone was just so nice i can’t get over it

  07/26/14 at 01:07am

ugurtardi:

The art of Benicio

(via jjustbbreathe)

  07/24/14 at 11:33pm

night time, my time
• i arrived in napa today for a full work weekend. we have one wedding tomorrow in sonoma and another in napa on saturday. and then a photoshoot/benefit/whatever at Reid after that. all the while, we are having a video being shot of the “behind the scenes” of our business and such. so today they shot me clipping flowers, which basically probably only shows my hands and some clippers and dahlias but it’s all good, my limbs can be famous. i can’t wait to see the video come together because our videographers are really great at what they do, also, we are doing THEIR wedding in september so it makes it extra cool to be working together.
anyways. i’m surprised at how my nerves floated away in the last couple hours. when i come out here i get anxious about all the responsibilities and things to get done, and this weekend is so much more than usual with the extra events. plus, it’s been awhile since me and ian spent time away from each other so i was indifferent to leaving him for a few days. but now i feel good, surprisingly. it’s nice to be able to miss him again, and when i get back we will have one evening together before i leave for los angeles for a week. although sleeping alone is an unusual feeling, it will make seeing him sunday night much more exciting. PLUS, when i am away he gets bored and does all the cleaning, laundry, yard work, and sometimes has other surprises for me :)

napa… why did i ever complain about you to begin with?

  07/24/14 at 11:31pm

man these next few days are going to kill me. videoshoot, wedding, wedding, photoshoot… then off to LA FOR FREEDOM!

  07/22/14 at 10:51pm